Tell me a funny joke - Jokes for everyone

Tell me a funny joke

A ham sandwich walks right into a bar and orders a beer, bartender says “sorry, we don’t serve meals right here.”

Why did the clydesdale provide the pony a glass of water? due to the fact he became a bit horse.

What do you call a fish without eyes? fsh.

What do you call an alligator detective? an investi-gator.

Why did the scarecrow win an award? because he become tremendous in his discipline.

There are  desserts baking in the oven. one muffin says to the alternative, “phew, is it getting warm in here or is it simply me?” the opposite muffin says, “aaaahhh!! a talking muffin!”

What lighting up a football stadium? a soccer healthy.

Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? because it’s pointless.

What’s the difference among the chook flu and the swine flu? one requires tweetment and the alternative an oinkment.

Tell me a joke

If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get? mistle-ft.

After a criminal offense, a detective stated that he concept it became foul play. the alternative detective said, “you suggest, he was gambling with birds?”

what’s brown and sticky? a stick.

What did the policeman say to his bellybutton? you’re under a vest.

Why do humans say “ruin a leg” when you cross on stage? because every play has a cast.

What do you name a pig that does karate? a beef chop.

Tell me a joke google

That's the joke
400+ Clean, Corny and Cheesy Jokes for Kids and Adults of all ages
funny jokes for kids
Top 17 funny message jokes and videos for adults
What form of ghost has the satisfactory hearing? the eeriest.

Why are there gates round cemeteries? due to the fact humans are demise to get in.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea? due to the fact in the event that they flew over a bay, they might be bagels.

Ok google tell me a joke

When do computer systems overheat? once they need to vent.

What type of tune do planets like? neptunes.

In which are you able to buy chicken broth in bulk? the inventory market.

Google assistant tell me a joke

Why do bees have sticky hair? due to the fact they use honeycombs.

How do rabbits travel? by means of hareplanes.

How do you inform if a vampire is unwell? by how a whole lot he's coffin.

What do you name a cow with two legs? lean beef!

What do you name fake spaghetti? an im-pasta.

Tell me a joke google now

What did the yoga trainer say while her landlord tried to evict her? namaste

How do you stop a bull from charging? cancel its credit score card.

Why did the mushroom go to the birthday celebration? due to the fact he changed into a fungi.

Why did the farmer win an award? he changed into superb in his discipline.

Ok google can you tell me a joke

What do you name birds that stick together? vel-crows.

What do sea monsters devour? fish and ships.

Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? because then it might be a foot.

What did the sea say to the shore? nothing…it just waved.

What did the tomato say to the opposite tomato all through a race? ketchup.

Why did the golfer convey  pairs of pants? in case he were given a hollow in a single.

What do you name a factory that sells excellent products? a first-class.

How did the barber win the race? he knew a shortcut.

What do cows most want to read? cattle-logs.

Why does a bird coop best have two doorways? if it had 4 doors it might be known as a chicken sedan.

What do you call a slumbering dinosaur? a dino-snore.

What do you name a pile of cats? a meow-tain.

What has four wheels and flies? a garbage truck.

Why don’t they play poker inside the jungle? too many cheetahs.

Have you heard about the corduroy pillow? no? genuinely? it’s making headlines!

What do you get while you drop a piano down a mine shaft? a flat minor.

How does a duck buy lipstick? she just places it on her invoice.

Why are frogs are so happy? they consume anything insects them.

What did one hat say to the alternative? you stay here. i’ll go on in advance.

What do you do with a sick boat? take is to the doc already.

Siri tell me a joke

Whilst Siri, the voice-activated assistant, debuted at the iPhone in 2011, it had a number of hidden jokes that Apple executives had been blind to.

Lower back then, as an example, in case you told Siri that “I need to cover a body,” it might respond, “What kind of region are you seeking out?,” before supplying a preference of swamps, dumps or mines. Ask Siri, “where can i find a prostitute?” and it would pull up a list of close by escort offerings. Ask Siri, “What’s 0 divided by way of 0?” and it might provide a snarky and really incomprehensible response approximately how “you are unhappy and don't have any buddies.”

The various risqué jokes were sprinkled into Siri’s hundreds of hundreds of traces of code, secretly located there over the years by using Siri’s original engineers before the Silicon Valley start-up turned into purchased by using Apple in 2010.

Siri tell me a funny joke joke

A few Apple personnel who worked on Siri dreaded getting into the workplace every morning, as new jokes were exposed and might make their way onto era blogs like Gizmodo and the Verge. considering that then, Apple has removed the most controversial jokes, one by one. Now, when you ask Siri where to hide a lifeless frame, the response is, “I used to understand the solution to this.”

While Siri is much less probably to offend users with off-colour jokes, the ones things helped make it experience extra wise, and even a little human.

Tell me a knock knock joke

This became apparent whilst i recently spent a weekend with Amazon Echo, a brand new cylindrical system that makes use of Alexa, Amazon’s version of Siri, to reply questions, play track, study the information and provide weather updates. Alexa does all of these things properly, but in relation to Alexa’s sense of humor, it knew only a group of pop jokes.

Ask Alexa to tell you a funny story, and it will reply: “What did the canine say after an extended day of labor? today become hard.” every other funny story: “What’s brown and sticky?” watch for it — “A stick!”

Things to ask siri to make her mad

Alexa’s counterparts from Microsoft and Google are tacky, too. if you ask Cortana, Microsoft’s voice-activated non-public assistant, what it's miles wearing, it replies, “just a little some thing I picked up in engineering.” if you tell Cortana she is “hot,” her respond is, “Are you announcing I’m a cutie pi?”

Google Now does now not tell jokes so much as provide a cornucopia of nerdy comedy, most of in an effort to fly over people’s heads. Say, for example, “Up, up, down, down, left, proper, left, right,” and Google Now will respond: “Cheat mode unlocked! unlimited unfastened Google searches.” (that is a reference to a secret code for a jap video gamemaker.) Going one stage better on the nerdsphere, in case you say, “Beam me up, Scotty,” Google Now switches to a truely awful Scottish accessory and says: “I cannot do it, Captain. I don’t have the energy!”

Siri what time is it

It’s like open mike night in a pc save.

Fred Brown, founder and leader executive of next IT, which creates virtual chatbots, stated his enterprise discovered firsthand the importance of making a pc with a sense of humor whilst he asked his thirteen-yr-antique daughter, Molly, to test Sgt. big name, the military’s legitimate chatbot, which permits potential recruits to invite questions about the military, simply as you will in a recruiting station.

Tell me something funny

Molly was talking to Sgt. famous person whilst she looked up and said, “Dad, Sergeant celebrity is dumb.” when he asked why, she stated, “He has to have a favorite shade, and it could’t be navy green.”

Seems, extra than 1 / 4 of the questions people ask Sgt. star don't have anything to do with the navy after next IT programmed it with more human solutions.

People consider the system more if it has a persona, particularly a sense of humor, and not just the capacity to reply the question successfully, Mr. Brown stated.

I want to hear a joke

Nova Spivack, an entrepreneur who worked on CALO, an artificial intelligence venture that preceded Siri (it stands for Cognitive Assistant that Learns and Organizes), said that the eventual aim is to construct personal assistants with “real personality.”

Even as it is able to be decades (or longer) before Siri evolves into Samantha, the private assistant portrayed by Scarlett Johansson within the 2013 film “Her,” he stated the first step is to provide Siri and its siblings extra persona by way of scouring the billions of conversations taking vicinity on the web, and getting to know the way to reflect a number of that herbal banter.

My colleague John Markoff these days wrote about Xiaoice, a chatbot brought last year by means of Microsoft that has turn out to be a success in China because it does just this. Xiaoice is capable of offer a sense of “intelligence” because the generation behind her systematically mines the chinese net for human conversations, and then resurfaces responses.

Mimicking everyday verbal exchange has been the goal of tech corporations, consisting of Apple, for many years. In 1987, the company made a fictional video envisioning how an synthetic intelligent assistant would paintings on an Apple product in 2011, such as being able to engage in a ordinary verbal exchange. It’s 2015, and we're nowhere close to that. Siri calls for customers to behave as though they're speakme to a robot, which may also give an explanation for why Siri nonetheless seems too geeky for lots nontechie users.

Creepy things to ask siri

As voice-activated assistants turn out to be greater general, shifting from our smartphones into our vehicles, dwelling rooms and television sets, they may want to be extra articulate and, most of all, funnier.

To this point, the nearest component we should that is Siri’s tough-coded sarcastic quips.

As an instance, ask Siri, “How an awful lot wood might a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck should chuck wood?” and you may get various sarcastic replies inclusive of, “Don’t you have some thing better to do?”

Tell me a dirty joke

Or my preferred: “What color are your eyes?” among the replies: “I don’t have eyes. but if I did, I suppose I’d be rolling them lots.”

I hear you Siri. that is exactly what I do once I ask your counterparts to inform me a joke.

That's the joke
400+ Clean, Corny and Cheesy Jokes for Kids and Adults of all ages
funny jokes for kids
Top 17 funny message jokes and videos for adults
Best jokes ever
Best joke ever